Drawing is hard...
No, seriously, it is. I mean, I didn't start thinking like that until someone around the neighborhood asked me. I've been finding myself talkative lately, especially when near a bus stop. I'm just as surprised as you, but I guess it's a good thing, pretending to be normal. I finally learned how to conduct myself around strangers... Just kidding. Somehow, the subject of my work came up and the guy asked me if I had my own comics. I wasn't sure why it threw me off, but I answered him...eventually and told him not yet. "I'm a wee bit busy for my own comic," I said, "I should be cracking the pencils on it soon enough."
It got me thinking and I'm not of fan of thinking. My mind wanders from place to place and it usually goes to the bad areas. I'm actually in a pretty decent spot right now. I'm about to go back into the work force. I have a bloody concept art gig that has the potential to blow up big. I shouldn't be thinking about my own shit. I've been praying for these things to happen and they did. Last thing I need to do is lament over it. Then, I find myself wanting to do comics---like really badly, but I'm lacking the time.
If there's anything I learned this year, it's that time plays a huge factor in everything. I already knew that, but this year pretty much reminded me with a kick to the throat. Drawing takes time---a lot of time, to be exact.
I guess the new job is perceived as a threat because it takes away time. Of course, the time I spend there amounts to a steady paycheck, so it's a wonderful thing. Many artist have regular jobs as it helps with supplies and materials. Heck, come convention time next year, I'll be a happy camper. At the same time (and this is where I tend to fall short), some artist can completely live off of their work. I'm not even really referring to the professionals.
I feel like I kinda suck because I see so many artist that actually attend conventions, have panels, artist alley booths, etc. Not to put anyone down, but I can draw way better than them, yet they seem to make it work. I see some work that's not passable by publishing standards, but there they are. Printed. It's obvious they know something that I don't. I'm always in the back, which pisses me off in ways you can't imagine.
Drawing is hard, but promoting yourself is even harder to do. Talent is the number one thing to have, but if you don't have the business sense to back it up, you'll end up... Well, you might end up like yours truly. I'm not saying I'm awesome or anything. To tell you the truth, I'm not as good as I like to think. In fact, I want to burn my old work. I still have trouble with anatomy, lighting, and I can hardly ink. Don't even get me started on background and perspective. At the same time, I see others with the same issues, but they are making money, getting recognition, and moving up the latter of success.
This is why I'm in a slump right now. I want to work on my comic, but I won't have the time and when I do, I don't think I'll get past my own hang-ups. Deep down inside, I don't think I'm ready skill-wise. Every now and again, I think I am, but I know I need to make some major improvements. Unfortunately, improvements happens to fall in the category of time. Time factors in everything and it's cruel. You cannot time. I want to pause the world and improve. Then just hit the "Play" button and show the world the new and improved Kenny, but things don't work like that, sadly. I've been in the game long enough to measure my own skills. I know how many "attack points" I have and all that jazz. I know what I'm capable of. The kind of improvements I want to make will take years. So, to be more accurate, drawing isn't hard, but being a good artist is.
So, ladies and gentlemen, the dilemma is simple: How can I improve in a short amount of time while balancing jobs?
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