10 | July | 2013 | Jack_Hawksmoor's Xanga Site

My body is beyond sore. I'm sad to admit this, but helping my uncle move was the most exercise I got in a while. There's muscles and joints that were rudely awakened. "We're going to give out on you before you even make it there," said my knees. Oh, and my lower back was being a total jerk up the stairs. "Did you forget that we're lazy," it yelled. Throughout this journey, I hurt my neck, my back, my ankles---- Basically, I'm closed for repairs. Hell, I think I might even need a nurse.

One thing I will say is that my uncle's house is nice. It's one of those places that wasn't meant for a Gordon, but he broke the rules concerning the impoverished and barely-making-ends-meet lifestyle. He gave the universe a swift kick to the balls and managed to get a decent house in the suburbs. There's multiple rooms, a swimming pool, a weight room, and other rooms he probably won't have time to be in. He's stressed more than anybody I know and he's aging rapidly. At the same time, he's doing a hell of a lot better when it comes to living conditions. This guy is trading in his health and sanity to get the things he wants. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he broke the family curse, so to speak. It took years of hard work, restless nights, and clocking in hours on the daily grind, but he got what he wanted.

I give credit when it's due and if you consider how my Dad grew up right along with my uncles, you'll know that the place I mentioned above is a big deal. Admittedly, I didn't want it to be a big deal, but after seeing the motherfucker, it's worth mentioning. He gets all the credit in the world for clawing, scratching, fighting, and kicking his way through all the doors that had a giant "NO" sign painted on it.

In more ways than one, it's very inspiring.

I didn't want to see or get involved with his new house because I figured it was some sort of "Keeping up with Joneses" type of deal. It's bigger than that, when you consider the traumatic childhood conditions. I mean, he grew up not knowing where his next meal was coming from. He had to share clothes with my Dad and they weren't even the same size. They had insects and furry pest running rampant. Basic necessities like electricity and water were denied due to lack of money. He, along with my Dad, had a rough fuckin' time growing up. My Dad felt the trauma more in the hunger area while my uncle felt it more in the financial side of things. One decided that he would never go hungry again and the other decided to never be poor again. One has a pathological need to succeed while the other stuffs his face.

Both kept their promises, but one thing my Dad didn't realize was that you can have an excess of food and still live in crappy conditions. Unfortunately, I grew up the same way he did, minus one element. I remember the lights were cut off because we couldn't afford it. I know what it's like to boil water for baths because the gas bill was too much to handle. I was teased at school for wearing the same clothes throughout the week. One thing I can say is that I was never hungry and that's awesome. It really is. The thing is, my cousins never went through the hardships my siblings and I had to go through. They had clothes, electricity, food, transportation, and a warm bed for cool seasons. Shit, I'm sure they even had air conditioning for the warmer seasons.

You get the idea.