Drawing is hard...

No, seriously, it is. I mean, I didn't start thinking like that until someone around the neighborhood asked me. I've been finding myself talkative lately, especially when near a bus stop. I'm just as surprised as you, but I guess it's a good thing, pretending to be normal. I finally learned how to conduct myself around strangers... Just kidding. Somehow, the subject of my work came up and the guy asked me if I had my own comics. I wasn't sure why it threw me off, but I answered him...eventually and told him not yet. "I'm a wee bit busy for my own comic," I said, "I should be cracking the pencils on it soon enough."

It got me thinking and I'm not of fan of thinking. My mind wanders from place to place and it usually goes to the bad areas. I'm actually in a pretty decent spot right now. I'm about to go back into the work force. I have a bloody concept art gig that has the potential to blow up big. I shouldn't be thinking about my own shit. I've been praying for these things to happen and they did. Last thing I need to do is lament over it. Then, I find myself wanting to do comics---like really badly, but I'm lacking the time.

If there's anything I learned this year, it's that time plays a huge factor in everything. I already knew that, but this year pretty much reminded me with a kick to the throat. Drawing takes time---a lot of time, to be exact.

I guess the new job is perceived as a threat because it takes away time. Of course, the time I spend there amounts to a steady paycheck, so it's a wonderful thing. Many artist have regular jobs as it helps with supplies and materials. Heck, come convention time next year, I'll be a happy camper. At the same time (and this is where I tend to fall short), some artist can completely live off of their work. I'm not even really referring to the professionals.

I feel like I kinda suck because I see so many artist that actually attend conventions, have panels, artist alley booths, etc. Not to put anyone down, but I can draw way better than them, yet they seem to make it work. I see some work that's not passable by publishing standards, but there they are. Printed. It's obvious they know something that I don't. I'm always in the back, which pisses me off in ways you can't imagine.

Drawing is hard, but promoting yourself is even harder to do. Talent is the number one thing to have, but if you don't have the business sense to back it up, you'll end up... Well, you might end up like yours truly. I'm not saying I'm awesome or anything. To tell you the truth, I'm not as good as I like to think. In fact, I want to burn my old work. I still have trouble with anatomy, lighting, and I can hardly ink. Don't even get me started on background and perspective. At the same time, I see others with the same issues, but they are making money, getting recognition, and moving up the latter of success.

This is why I'm in a slump right now. I want to work on my comic, but I won't have the time and when I do, I don't think I'll get past my own hang-ups. Deep down inside, I don't think I'm ready skill-wise. Every now and again, I think I am, but I know I need to make some major improvements. Unfortunately, improvements happens to fall in the category of time. Time factors in everything and it's cruel. You cannot time. I want to pause the world and improve. Then just hit the "Play" button and show the world the new and improved Kenny, but things don't work like that, sadly. I've been in the game long enough to measure my own skills. I know how many "attack points" I have and all that jazz. I know what I'm capable of. The kind of improvements I want to make will take years. So, to be more accurate, drawing isn't hard, but being a good artist is.

So, ladies and gentlemen, the dilemma is simple: How can I improve in a short amount of time while balancing jobs?

Life...

I ended up getting work as a conceptual artist for an independent film. That's a damn good excuse not to update a blog, right? Well, the work is moving a bit slow, but I think everything will be complete at the end of the year. Sad part is that I can't talk about the project or show my images until I get the "green light". I'm also about to work full-time for a mailing company.

Script Updates...

Pilot episode is nearly complete. Most of you already know I had 49 pages to it, so I got it up to 60. Rewrote a few scenes that place in Act IV, so it's a much better ending than before.

As far as the feature-length script is concerned, I haven't touched that in God knows how long. With all of the concept work, commissions, and a few extras, I can't put myself in it like before. I still think about it, but I need to complete a few things before I go back in those murky waters.

Busy...

Trying to complete this script is very fuckin' hard. It doesn't help reading every source that says "It has to be 120 page and no more". I bloody wrote 186 pages, which is a monster to edit. I hate when people tell me stuff like, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be." I'm actually almost done and have it around 150 pages. I was planning to leave it that way, but I guess I have to come up with a plan.

The plan is simple: Dozens of rewrites until it's a slim and sexy 120 pages. Basically, it's the same plan, just more editing and long ass nights, burning the midnight oil. This is a very hard process, but I don't wake up in the morning relenting over my script. I'm pron to addressing it as "the sexy bastard."

So, it's safe to say I enjoy this shit, regardless of not getting it right the first and second time. This is getting done, no matter what. I never considered myself stubborn, but in this case, I'll make the exception.

Cheers.

Act III has arrived, which is actually a surprise on my end. I didn't think I'd fly through the Act II re-write, but I suppose it's easy when you already know the outcome. "Know your ending", as the writing guru says (whoever that guy may be). It all works out for me in that respect. Now, if I wasn't worried about page length, Act III wouldn't be so much a burden. In fact, I probably dug myself in a bit of a hole because I have to cram 4 important events within 52 pages. It's not that bad and I think it's doable. The only problem I foresee is that it might lack the impact the first draft had. Making things short and sweet while trying to maximize the full dramatic potential of a scene... well, that's very hard to do for a man who can write forever.

It's a pain trying to keep this blog entry to a readable length. I can go on for pages.

With that said, I must take my leave.

Cheers,

Kenny

So the guy from the developing film project called and set up a meeting. It went good, for the most part. It's one of those things that need the proper time and energy. I doubt I'll be making a lot of money with it, but it's worth trying to build a film presence in Philadelphia. The good news is that I'm talking with the guy who seems to be the front-runner for these projects and he has everything planned out. The only sour aspect is that we're in a very small place on the map, but everybody starts from somewhere. We just need to grow... and why not have Kenny Gordon be apart of the process?

From my email:

"Ken,

- Mark"

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I certainly hope nothing---and I mean NOTHING---fucks this opportunity up. I've been wanting a foot in the door, so I hope this leads to some better times.

Cheers to seizing the opportunities.

Desperately awaiting a response from a job query. A developing production company in Philly sent out an ad for storyboard artist. I jumped at the opportunity quicker than a vampire trying to work at Red Cross. Samples were abundant in my email... I even threw in my Dark Horse samples as an extra bonus. Hope the person in charge is a Buffy The Vampire Slayer geek. In any case, I hope I don't have to wait long. It's about 2:30 AM and the excitement is keeping me up.

Wish I had beer...

So, my DVR was filled up to the brim. About 5% of space was available, so I figured it was time to trim the fat. I'm like, "Fuck you, Naruto. I can catch you anytime on the web". I press delete for Naruto and, for some sick and twisted reason, I ended up deleting my collection Of Supernatural episodes.

50+ episodes gone because I wasn't paying attention...or the controller was glitchy. It's all gone. I'm only on season 2... 

Once you get use to the idea that you control all aspects of time as a writer, page length becomes conquerable. So, what that said, I'm gutting the shit out of Act II. I'll try a non-linear approach...maybe. I pretty much had to get things in order within 60 pages and after so much editing, I'm at 56 pages. Major issue: I didn't cover enough ground. Need to reevaluate the events that take place. Need to take out the damn non-essentials, which is extremely hard to do when I think everything I wrote was gold. Hahah...

But that's the writing process... and it's even harder for film because you have little room for idleness. Everything needs to have a reason and it damn sure needs to be entertaining, or else... Not to say that novels aren't like that, but novelist have hundreds of pages to play around with.

I'm still happy with how it's turning out. In a few ways, I'm glad nobody read my first draft because, when I look at it, it kinda hurts my eyes compared to this new creature I'm writing. The only thing that's missing is a phenomenon I like to call "Midnight Mojo". When I was putting in long hours on Microsoft Word for the first draft, I think that was the closest thing to "writing groove" I experienced. It was almost like getting high. The brain starts to do some weird shit at 3AM, but the cool part was that my mind was still active. Add Red Bull and music to the mix and it becomes a party...a solitary party for one, but a party none the less. A bit unhealthy, I'll admit, but it got the job done.

I'm starting to think weather has something to do with it. The first draft had cooler air and I could stay up all night long, if I had to. This summertime heat puts me to sleep---and not in the newborn baby way. More like a dog that's on it's last leg. Tongue hangin' out and all.

Cheers

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Oh, and if you missed it, I posted an excerpt of my script titled "Patient Paranorma". Just go back to the previous entry and you'll see a link to a pdf file. Let me know your thoughts on it.

OK. I solved the PDF crisis and I guess I was lucky to have a wordpress account setup last year. The link will take you to my the 5 pages I wrote a few days ago. A little background on it is appropriate... for those of you who don't normally read this blog.

About a few years back, I illustrated a few pages for a comic called "Project Impact". It's set in a world where superpowers are out of control, primarily in the teenage population. A large majority of these kids don't go around saying, "Let's save the world and fight evil." Instead, super crime increases and America has an epidemic of sorts. Honestly, what's a bank vault when you have super strength? How will anyone identify you with that costume? Why not take what you want? With that said, Super Prisons were built to contain them, but it's like putting a band-aid on a cancer patient. It doesn't solve the problem in the long run. Enter Project Impact: a group of superheroes who create a program to train and guide these super powered delinquents as an alternative to super prisons. Fighting fire with fire, so to speak.

Things didn't go as planned for the Image Comics submission, but I decided to skip the comic route and head straight for the silver screen. A screenplay has been brewing since the Fall season of 2009. I'm still pushing for a comic, but I feel like this can be successful as a movie, too.

The link below is a flash back featuring Paranorma, a hero-in-training who is anything but ordinary.

Take a gander.

Patient Paranorma