I was just offered a job penciling a seven page comic (six sequential pages along with a cover). The only problem is that, well...... Here. I'll just paste it:

"Payment for your work would be based on a percentage of net income generated by sales, when and if the project is picked up by a major publisher. To offset the fact that we do not pay up front fees initially, we offer higher royalty percentages than most major publishers in the industry (if you would prefer to ink your work as well, then obviously the percentage of said royalties would increase.)"

Am I being too cautious? I'm a bit worried because it's not guaranteed cash flow. Even if I rock their socks, there's no guarantee that people will make purchases. Right now, I feel like I need to get paid up front--at least half. I guess what I'm trying to really ask is... should I pursue this?

Currently Fantastic Four: The Masters of Doom By Mark Millar see related

It's somewhat stressful warding off depression, even more so with jealously. Most of you who know me are aware that I didn't graduate from "art school." Hell, I only mention my grievances every couple of minutes, I'm sure you had some inkling of my situation. I've been going at it from the very traditional method of learning the rest on my own---the "School of Hard Knocks." Of course, when seeing a friend, an illustration major with a fresh degree, get a wave of opportunities, I end up hating myself. I want to be happy for this person, but there's this thing inside me that wants to turn over a table and rampage through the city. 

Getting a degree is hard. Pick any major, you not only have to pay for that piece of paper, but you also have to work your ass off for it. That's the unfortunate basis for higher education and everyone should be commended for their efforts, especially if they make it all the way through. On the other hand, it's art and most of the success should come from talent. It's great to have a degree to back up those talents, but the guy or girl that lacks the credentials shouldn't be kept on the bench. I'm watching my friend get so many offers from different companies, collectors, commissions, and even magazines. I can't help but feel a little jealous.

This person has talent and I'm not knockin' anything about them. I'm the one that's fucked up because... shit.. I guess you can say that I'm in a dark place. I see a fountain of opportunities flowing for this person while I'm stuck here, struggling like nobody's business. I should be extremely happy for this person because they deserve all the good things coming their way. I'm just a mess because I shouldn't want to punch a hole in the wall when I hear good things. I shouldn't have the urge to break a window when a friend signs a $3000 contract or get hired for anything. Those are good things and I need to be better than this.

I'm just tired of struggling. It's been years since I decided to do this sort of thing for a living and the entire thing has been a rough fuckin' journey. I never had my feet firmly planted and life just keeps bum-rushing me---blocking me. It's always one step forward and two steps back, which is extremely annoying. I just need a break from all this negativity and bad luck. Just one solid lead that actually turns out to bare some fruit, is all. I just need an opportunity---just one fuckin' opportunity, for shit's sake.

I need good fortune or, at the very least, I need these obstacles to calm down so I can do it on my own. At this point, just give me something.      

Shit.

Currently Fantasy Workshop: Mastering Digital Painting Techniques (ImagineFX) By ImagineFX see related

With Xanga going under like this, I've gone from sad to indifferent. A few months ago, I was walking around, nearly depressed because this site was my baby. It's just like finding out your favorite novel has come to an end and you are hesitant about reading that last chapter. It was rough. Now, I'm at a place where it just seems like a good excuse to finally work out the kinks of Word Press. 

The promotion of the fundraiser was piss-poor and I doubt that they will reach their goal. It would be cool if they did, but... I don't know. I'm betting they will make another extension until they reach it. Unfortunately, I won't receive any significant amount of money until December or January, at the latest.  In a perfect world, I would have been able to donate... That's my situation and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

The captain must go down with the ship. So, after seeing so many goodbye entries, I figured it would be nice to do one, too... even if it's for the 2nd time. 

It was a good run. There were lots of ups and downs throughout my life. I was a kid, fresh out of high school and very hungry to find friends and make connections on the internet. When I look back at it, Xanga was like the "Mother Hen" to most of my online friendships. Most of the people I communicate with on the internet are former and current Xanga bloggers (mostly former). That says a lot when you consider all the other sites that were out around the early 2000's. Of course, none of them had the community and spirit of Xanga. This place was different. In a few ways, even in its twilight moments, it's still my preferred home on the internet.

Life must go on.  

If Xanga magically has a second coming and I'm able to purchase a membership, I just might do it. Things might look better down the line, but you never know. Uncertainty is a nasty old hag that needs to get shot. It's a shame that I know her well.

We danced to this song before, but you can click the link for my contact info. It's not like this is the death of the internet, so you can definitely keep up with me on the other sites and social networks I joined. From this point on, we're all going to be nomads, spreading across the internet. We're going to have Google+ and Word Press tribes... Or we just might have a Xanga 2.0, but there's no place like home. 

I'll be around.

-KG

Currently The Newsroom: The Complete First Season (Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy) By Emily Mortimer, Jeff Daniels, John Gallagher Jr., Alison Pill, Thomas Sadoski see related

You know what I just realized? Neville Page from Face Off is following me on Twitter. He's actually been following me for a while now (over a year). No contact or retweets or anything, but he's on my list of followers. Here's the thing: He's only following 300-something people compared to the thousands that are following him. In a way, I feel fuckin' special because I'm apart of that 300-something. Oh, and 300 isn't really a big number when it comes to Twitter. Why is he following me? Maybe he likes my work. Don't get wrong, I thanked the shit out of him when he added me, but I just didn't think it would be... permanent. What'e even crazier is that he's active on Twitter. It's not like he signed up and forgot about it. I'm deliberately being followed here.

Just an observation. 

I need to produce better content---better work! He's watching me.

Jesus...

Currently JLA Vol. 8: Divided We Fall By Mark Waid, Bryan Hitch, Paul Neary see related

I recently pitched my couch surfing idea to my Facebook friends. So far, no one in California wanted to take me up on my offer, but a friend in Portland is interested. The best part is that I know them, at least up to a certain extent. I worked with them on two comic projects, one awaiting a digital release and the other is Black Boot. Creatively, rooming up with them would be awesome. I was convinced that California just might be too ambitious starting out. If I'm hell-bent on it, I should at least have contacts or something lined up before I jump the gun. The cost of living is one of the main issues, too. 

Well, see in the coming months. Hopefully it will work out because I'm long overdue concerning getting the heck out of here.

I need to find a way to make a significant amount of money before November.

Commissioned art?  

What say you?

In case Xanga dies out or whatever, you can drop me a line at kenesu84@yahoo.com

Currently L.A. Confidential By Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, James Cromwell, David Strathairn see related

My body is beyond sore. I'm sad to admit this, but helping my uncle move was the most exercise I got in a while. There's muscles and joints that were rudely awakened. "We're going to give out on you before you even make it there," said my knees. Oh, and my lower back was being a total jerk up the stairs. "Did you forget that we're lazy," it yelled. Throughout this journey, I hurt my neck, my back, my ankles---- Basically, I'm closed for repairs. Hell, I think I might even need a nurse.

One thing I will say is that my uncle's house is nice. It's one of those places that wasn't meant for a Gordon, but he broke the rules concerning the impoverished and barely-making-ends-meet lifestyle. He gave the universe a swift kick to the balls and managed to get a decent house in the suburbs. There's multiple rooms, a swimming pool, a weight room, and other rooms he probably won't have time to be in. He's stressed more than anybody I know and he's aging rapidly. At the same time, he's doing a hell of a lot better when it comes to living conditions. This guy is trading in his health and sanity to get the things he wants. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he broke the family curse, so to speak. It took years of hard work, restless nights, and clocking in hours on the daily grind, but he got what he wanted. 

I give credit when it's due and if you consider how my Dad grew up right along with my uncles, you'll know that the place I mentioned above is a big deal. Admittedly, I didn't want it to be a big deal, but after seeing the motherfucker, it's worth mentioning. He gets all the credit in the world for clawing, scratching, fighting, and kicking  his way through all the doors that had a giant "NO" sign painted on it.

In more ways than one, it's very inspiring. 

I didn't want to see or get involved with his new house because I figured it was some sort of "Keeping up with Joneses" type of deal. It's bigger than that, when you consider the traumatic childhood conditions. I mean, he grew up not knowing where his next meal was coming from. He had to share clothes with my Dad and they weren't even the same size. They had insects and furry pest running rampant. Basic necessities like electricity and water were denied due to lack of money. He, along with my Dad, had a rough fuckin' time growing up. My Dad felt the trauma more in the hunger area while my uncle felt it more in the financial side of things. One decided that he would never go hungry again and the other decided to never be poor again. One has a pathological need to succeed while the other stuffs his face.

Both kept their promises, but one thing my Dad didn't realize was that you can have an excess of food and still live in crappy conditions. Unfortunately, I grew up the same way he did, minus one element. I remember the lights were cut off because we couldn't afford it. I know what it's like to boil water for baths because the gas bill was too much to handle. I was teased at school for wearing the same clothes throughout the week. One thing I can say is that I was never hungry and that's awesome. It really is. The thing is, my cousins never went through the hardships my siblings and I had to go through. They had clothes, electricity, food, transportation, and a warm bed for cool seasons. Shit, I'm sure they even had air conditioning for the warmer seasons.  

You get the idea.   

Currently Invincible (Book 10): Who's the Boss? By Robert Kirkman, Ryan Ottley, FCO Plascencia see related

There are times when I don't have enough care to listen to anybody's shit. Therefore, I keep my distance. I saved a lot of friendships that way. There's this one guy on Facebook, an aspiring artist, who occasionally sends me messages. For the most part, he wants me to look at his updated gallery for critiques and possibly a few accolades. As much as I love cultivating new talent, I just wasn't in the proper mind set. Most of you know, I've been quite the mess lately, inside and outside create pursuits. I don't even want to look at my own shit, let alone a guy that's just starting out.

I wanted to tell him to "cut it out" or "fuck off"---something to make him go away. I wanted to tell him to find something else to do with his time because art is a severely punishing grind. The bleak reality is that everybody can't live off of it and if you're taking the freelance route, it really sucks to be at the mercy of disposable income. Getting in a studio is even tougher because there's about a thousand artist gunning for the same thing. Elevating your style or even finding it in the first place can take years of heartache and pain. As soon as you think you're ready, something comes along to kick your confidence in the teeth. I wanted to tell this guy that he's better off finding something a bit more safe and rewarding.

The moment I started typing, I remembered one of my friends telling me about a conversation he had with a professional comic book artist. To a certain extent, he did the same thing, asking for feedback and all of that. Unfortunately, the Pro flat-out told him to quit. Quit.... Q-U-I-T. My friend was in shock because, well... that was the furthest thing from feedback anyone could give. The Pro followed that statement with a brief explanation about why my friend should give up his endeavor. From what I can remember, the guy told him that he needed to be further along, skill-wise. Due to his age, he would be very old by the time his work was up to standards.

After hearing that story, I was pissed off. I remembering asking my friend, "who in the tap-dancing fuck made that guy judge, jury, and executioner of your dreams?" I was livid because that insensitive bastard was a professional and I believe that title comes with a certain amount of grace. If a fan walks up and shows you some art, the least you can do is smile and point out the good stuff. If there's bad stuff, you can point that out as well, but don't crush any souls. There's a big difference between an honest critique and repeatedly stomping on someone's nuts. The aspiring artist should walk away with knowledge and a willingness to improve. If they walk away with a cloud of depression, you deserve an uppercut .

Earlier today, I found myself teetering on the edge of hypocrisy.  There I was, seconds away from stomping on someone's dream because I was in a funky mood. My personal hang-ups about my own crappy situation almost spilled into his world. Thankfully, I changed my paragraph into a few words of encouragement. Did I feed him bullshit? Not really. The thing is, it might take him a little longer to get to where he wants to be, but I don't have any right to take him off that journey. The only thing I can do is steer him away from all the mistakes I made. Besides that, he seems to value my opinion, which is a little weird, but it's still a responsibility I can't take lightly. I told him to keep up the good work. 

Artist need to encourage each other, no matter the level of skill because, at the end of the day, we're all students. Art is something you'll never reach the end of. There's no such thing as "maxing out". There's no "final boss." That's actually a beautiful thing, if you think about it. The audacity to have institutions taking money to learn these things is quite the robbery, but I suppose that's another topic for another time. 

I'm just worried that my struggle is gradually turning me into an asshole.

Seriously... that was a close call.

-KG 

Currently Last Resort By Trentemoller Track: Nightwalker see related

I finally received my check from Cryptozoic. Hopefully, we will be able to do more business soon. I only decided to do 50 cards just to get my feet wet. Next time, depending on the licensed property, I'll do 100 or more. Compared to the previous card company I worked for, it only took a few months to get paid rather than lifetimes. Honestly, I hope I can manage to get something Marvel or DC related. That's my bread and butter, so to speak. As much as I've grown to love the Walking Dead, I went in knowing very little about the characters. I watched the TV show, but the cards were solely based on the comics. 

The sad part about finally getting paid is that I had to give up most of my check to the family because, well... things are falling apart around here. I'm not the only one in this house that's going through a rough financial patch. In the meantime, I'm looking into a security job, a front desk job, and a couple of other things. It's rough as shit out here, when it comes to getting employed. If you're working, especially if it's an office setting, be thankful for your current situation. It's a lot better than sitting by the phone, crossing your fingers for an interview. You know where your next check is coming from. Shit, I really miss direct depositing... I miss having a bank account... I miss not worrying about how I'm going to pay for things...

Jenn Doudney, a former blogger, encouraged me to look into couch-surfing. I'm sure most of you are familiar with the term, but it's pretty self-explanatory. Basically, you travel and spend the night in someone's home rather than a hotel. Sometimes, it's multiple homes, depending on the length of travel. Musicians, especially when first starting out, spend the night in a band mate's house---or a fan's apartment---whatever. It's a neat concept because it's a very temporary thing that can produce long term benefits. Jenn seems to think that it would blend in seamlessly with my artistic endeavors.  

I've been wanting to move to California for a long time because it's the source of all the things I want to do. Movies, animation, and even television (Canada might be the new HQ for TV... I'll have to look into that). At the end of the day, it's the mecca of entertainment. It's easier to be a storyboard artist, character designer, or just a plain artist in California. There's more job opportunities, I think. Spending a few months on someone's couch to capitalize on those opportunities would certainly be worth it.  

Right now, I'm looking into people I know, or at least have some inkling of who I am. Whether it's through a mutual acquaintance, a friend of a friend, or something... I'm not really that picky. All I need is a place to sleep, draw, and write. I'm pretty decent around the kitchen, too. On the other hand, there's a site called couchsurfing.org that's geared towards the vacation side of traveling, but I can tailor it to my needs. 

Any of you have any experience with that sort of thing? Hell, an even better question: Do you live in California and want an extra pair of hands around the house? Hahaha...

No, I'm serious. 

My plan is to move out there, find a job and do everything I can to get my work out there, whether it's the art or the screenplays. I want to find a manager for screenwriting and possibly and agent for my art. Maybe I can skip the agent thing and get work at one of the many studios in the area. We shall cross that bridge when it comes. I just know that it's hard trying to do this stuff when living in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It's a alright city, but in order to fly, I need to jump from the nest. I don't mind going through a website to make arrangements, but if there's a chance to set something up outside that site, I'm game. 

Of course, I'll need time to get things in order. One, I'll need the plane ticket. I never been on a plane before, so I'll need the whole passport sha-bang. Clothing is sort of an issue at the moment. I'm poorer than Joe's Turkey, you see? Investing in a laptop would be ideal because I doubt I can drag this PC with me. In any case, I need to save some money, which is a little impossible, seeing as I don't have much to my name. I'm working on it.

That's my goal. By age 30, which is just one year from now, I want to be out of this house and in California. In 2014, I want to kick ass and make the best out of all the opportunities that come my way. 

-KG

Currently The Experiment By Adrien Brody, Forest Whitaker, Cam Gigandet, Jr Clifton Collins, Fisher Stevens see related

J.G. Jones lives in Philadelphia.

It's a small concept that I can't seem to get out of my head lately. My broke ass completely missed out on the Wizard World convention. In a perfect world, I would have been able to drop by his table just to say hello and maybe even shoot the shit with him. The crazy thing is that he lives in the same city. We're breathing the same pollution and eating the same cheese steaks, for shit's sake. I feel like I don't really need to wait for the next convention. So, I've been debating on whether or not to...I don't know... hang out with him...maybe?

He's one of my favorite artist, too. I loved Wanted, Marvel Knights: Black Widow, and I wasn't even crazy about DC's 52 crossover, but his cover art was worth the price of admission. Did I mention he lives in Philadelphia?

We had some correspondence since I "friended" him on Facebook. Other than Afua Richardson, Laura Martin, and Nelson Blake, I don't get a lot of industry pros frequenting my page. Jones, much to my surprise, will pop up every once in a while with a comment or two. Afua and Laura are in Georgia, and Nelson's in California. Jones, on the other hand, drinks from the same water supply as I do. If I put my coffee cup on the roof, depending on the direction of the wind, I bet there's a good chance he might smell the aroma. Yeah, I'm exaggerating, but you get the idea. 

Say if I did drop him a line and set up a meet and greet, I'm not even sure what to do, really. I would feel very silly bringing him my portfolio. An artist of his caliber, well... I would be wasting his time with that. Besides, it's not much of a portfolio. I've been a creative slump for months and I don't have much to be proud of. At any rate, portfolio reviews can be handled online through email. I'm sure he's a man of pressing deadlines, so hanging out would be some sort of sacrifice for him.

Now, if I were a fellow professional, this would be easier. If I had Marvel or DC books under my belt, I'd probably have enough nerve to call his house phone for beer 'n shit. I'm quite the nobody, at the moment. The most professional thing I did lately were those Walking Dead sketch cards, which isn't even close to the prestige of a monthly comic book---a monthly comic book that was turned into a movie starring Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. He would be agreeing to hang out with a mere fan, really. I'm an aspiring professional, but a fan none the less. Who does that?

J.G. Jones lives in Philadelphia and I don't even know what to do with that.

Should I even bother the man?
 

Currently Longmire: The Complete First Season By Robert Taylor, Lou Diamond Phillips, Katee Sackhoff, Cassidy Freeman see related

My name is Kenny Gordon, but folks know me around the web as “Kenesu,” which is simply Japanese for “Kenneth,” but Ken or Kenny will do just fine. I’m a freelance artist currently camped out in the city of Philadelphia, but have aspirations to relocate to areas rich in my field of work. 

My artwork can range from sequential storytelling and character designs to sketch cards, movie posters, and tattoo design. I'm pretty good with anything that involves pencil, paper, and Photoshop. It's the classic case of a "Jack of all trades and a Master of none."

My most recent gig involved illustrating sketch cards for Cryptozoic Entertainment.

I'm currently working on an original comic book called Black Boot, co-created with Dan Schkade (The Private Files of the Fowl) and soon to arrive to the Committee Building website. I've been dragging my feet with it due to personal issues, but I plan to work toward its release with no more interruptions. I also have a few projects on the back burner with long time collaborator, Jennifer V Doudney (Womanthology: Heroic). You should definitely keep your eyes and ears open for future updates.

While I'm happily juggling endeavors in print, I’m also searching for an manager I can work with to help launch my career as a working screenwriter. When I’m not over the drawing board, turning into a caffeine-addicted-cave-dwelling creature, I’m turning into something even worse, writing screenplays for film and television.

I have two feature length scripts and a third that’s moving it’s way into 1st draft territory. There’s also two hour long dramas I’m developing. One is a supernatural/horror complete with a pilot script and series bible while the science fiction one is still in the strategy phase.

If you want to contact me about art or anything relating to business, be it commissions or ideas in general, my email is “kenesu84 at yahoo dot com.” Drop me a line. I tend to check it 3 or 4 times a day because I probably have OCD or something.

If you’re feeling social, you can find me on Twitter and I even have one of those Facebook pages because its seems decent for building a fan base. It’s also a good excuse to post art more frequently and that’s something I promise to do really soon. I normally wouldn't post my personal Facebook account, but there's a good chance we won't be seeing each other here anymore, so here's the link: Facebook.

Kenny Gordon | Create Your Badge

For added measure, I might as well post the links to my Pandora radio account, my long neglected Blogger site, and my Tumblr.  I would post my Google Plus page, but... Oh, to hell with it. Why not? The thing is, it's rather shitty to figure out. I don't really use it, but if I'm willing to make a "Xanga Circle" depending on the demand. Google +. Just know that when it comes to Google Plus, you're better off emailing me or adding me on Facebook. Who uses Google Plus anyway? Seriously? Then again, who uses Xanga anymore? 

DeviantART is definitely a great place to keep up with my artwork. I damn near update it with Facebook simultaneously. I also have a Behance portfolio site with the same content. You have options. 

Any gamers in the mix? My Playstation Network handle is "Kenesu." I know, who would've guessed, right? If you add me (and this goes for any site), be sure to mention Xanga so I can differentiate you from a spam bot. 

My website still looks the same. I must have ran through two web guys that were, at the time, excited to help a bloke out, but they eventually flaked. Despite those setbacks, I’m in the process of giving the Word Press template the ol' college try to see if I can make it interesting. I'm a firm believer in teaching an old dog new tricks. I happen to be days away from my 29th birthday, so there's no excuse. I can learn Word Press. 

Most of the sites I provided carry links to my other pages, so you don't have to bookmark everything... unless you want to. I certainly won't mind. Sadly, I can't really say which one is my central hub or nest. Facebook might be a contender. Hell, I'm still deciding on the location for a future blog. Maybe there's really no need for it. 

We shall see. 

-KG

Currently Up From Below By Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros Track: Home see related